Allowing, How Do I Allow This?
July 30th, 2009
“There will be a time, not so far from now, that you will look back on this phase of your life and instead of condemning it or beating up on it… Instead of blaming or guilting, you will feel appreciation for it, because you will understand that a renewed desire for life was born out of this time period that will bring you to physical heights that you could not have achieved without the contrast that gave birth to this desire.”
— Abraham
As I move along my path of enlightenment I am challenged, over and over, to allow something, everything, to just be as it is without judgment or struggle or worry. Some things are just too hard to allow to be. Or so they seem at the beginning. I know, now, that this is the only path for me, the path of acceptance and allowing so I know it is my work to find value in all that I come across.
It really doesn’t matter what I have stumbled over at this time, it only matters that I find a new way to look at “it”. And even a way to value what is. And then I will be loving unconditionally, and be free of the attachment. When I find fault in something I anchor it to me. It is only when I accept and allow and find value that I let go and enjoy the freedom that is me.
Sometimes finding a new way to view something takes some time but it is always worth it, always. Holding onto views of wrong, guilt, and bad are like tying rocks onto a birds foot. Let them go and that bird can soar.
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A New Vantage Point
July 16th, 2009
As I awake from my slumber I find myself at a new awareness about money. It would have been the job of my father to teach me about many things. Trusting myself and listening to my voice within and valuing that voice would have been helpful. So, as I now awaken to my own awareness of the value of this I am also keenly aware of many times in my life when I knew better, but didn’t have the courage, or knowing or whatever to stand up for what I thought. This is nowhere more keenly felt that in the area of money. I have listened to others so I could be loved and accepted and perceived as loving, etc. all my life. Now I can easily see where I knew what would have been the best and I let somebody else decide for us and I followed like I had no head.
As you can probably tell from the tone of this post I am angry with myself about this. My sun is in Taurus and my rising sign is Capricorn. These are both signs that are good with money. I always knew how to handle money, I knew, I remember knowing, but I didn’t have the self assertion needed to speak up and be heard. It is so silly too, I let somebody, a lot of somebodies make the decisions about the money.
Well, not any more. Don’t misunderstand, I don’t really care about having a lot of things. But I do see now that life doesn’t have to be lived on the edge. There is an easy spot. I can see now that it isn’t that hard to find. I can also see that enough money has always easily flowed into my life. I just didn’t speak up about what we did with it.
I am not mad at those who took responsibility for our money. I am not even mad at my Dad who stripped me of my courage and my own right to make my life the way I want it. Well maybe I am a little mad at my Dad. But I am really mad at me. I am not afraid of anger. I know that it always is part of my growth and part of my new understanding. I see anger as the feeling of my own energy coming forth.
It is a new day for me and my family. Now I will teach my children what I didn’t teach them before, even if it is just by example at first. And I will gently and easily guide our money to a place of peace. I love this waking up stuff. I never know where it will lead me next, but it is always practical and helpful to my life right now.
I appreciate all of you who tune in here for my latest updates along my path.
Filed under: Anger, Decisions, In Our World, The Path of Love, Waking Up | 3 Comments »
Jesus, Who Were You?
July 15th, 2009
When I was first stirred to find out about this God I didn’t know, (over 30 years ago now) I went to the Christian Church looking for answers. I spent six and a half years in two different Churches. I was just as serious about it as I am now so I read, studied and memorized the New and Old testaments on a daily basis.
I haven’t forgotten this first love of Jesus. And I think a lot about who he was, why he was here and why he did the things he did.
Imagine the power of having your mother and father believe that you are the one sent from God. And they believe it so strongly because an angel came to them before you were born with this information. All your life you were told that you are the Messiah, the God/Man, the One. Your parents believed it so much that you had no choice but to believe it. You test it and find that the All That Is does respond to you and support you. And your experience of yourself tells you the angel was right. Then you come to realize that every man/woman is exactly the same as you, only they don’t know it.
You feel this powerful love with you always and how can you come to any conclusion except to follow the incredible desire to share what you know. When you look at another you see the truth of their being, not intellectually, but experientially, as you have experienced the truth of your own being. You are still a human being, following this powerful, blinding love. You live in the now, you trust and allow the power that pulses through you and you allow it to be, right here on the earth as only a human being can.
I think Jesus was a very joyful person. And what an impact he had on this place, even after 2000+ years, we continue to have you as one of our most powerful and beautiful examples of who we are. Thank you for being you, I love you still.
This post is an excerpt from my book, The Path of Enlightenment
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Moving Further Along My Path
July 12th, 2009
When I was a very young girl, very young, my father yelled a lot. He never really wanted children, he finally sucumbed to my mothers pressure and I was born. I don’t have a lot of memories before I was 4 but I do know that he didn’t want to hear from me much. I believe he loved me in his way. But he really didn’t want me to exist. He wanted me to shut up and go away and let him be.
I’ve worked my way back through my life, changing my ideas and decisions along the way. For a while I worked with my mind on a logical level. Discovering my own hidden thoughts that create powerlessness and changing my mind in my own favor, thus empowering myself. But then something happened and I couldn’t deal with my ideas of myself with my mind any more and I knew it was time to let go of that way.
Since then I’ve been freeing myself of emotionally charged nonlogical beleifs about myself. Those I picked up, mostly from my parents, before the age of 9 or 10. While I was in the time of associative thinking. The stategy for detatching myself from these erroneous self views is different. Now all I can do is feel and wait. I usually have some idea of what is going on, but not really a way to help myself other than allowing the One I’ve come to trust to see me through.
The situation I describe above is one of those prelogic self views. I can feel it. I feel fear that I will go too far, express too much, or say the wrong thing. I am getting through this. I know that I am. And I also know that when I do I will feel the freedom of a thousand hearts opening. I will have found the me that I was before I was supressed by my very loud father. I very much want to regain this pure and loving view of myself. I want her to feel free to express herself as she chooses. I want her to let go of controlling herself so she feels safe and just be. And I want to give up the voice of my Dad that still lingers that scares me into not opening all the way.
I have come to the place on my journey where even when I am feeling the pain of retrieving a lost part of myself I am still able to feel and know that I am loved and safe. And I’ll say it again, I know that when I get through this storm and regain that innocent little girl part of me all of the heavens will open to me and I will be feel completely back in the flow of grace and love that defys description. I am loved, I know that, not with my head, but with every cell of my being. I am loved and I can only imagine how things will look from the perspective of this free little girl part of me. Each movement back, or inward leaves me at a new vantage point. I can see just who we are more and more and I can know my connection to my Source, the One, the All That Is.
There is true beauty in my life. I am loved and I want to share what I’ve learned. Let me know if I can be of service to you in some way as you travel your personal path of enlightenment.
Filed under: The Path of Love, Waking Up, alchemy | 2 Comments »
Unconditional Love
July 9th, 2009
I’ve made a decision. I want all of my relationships to be based on unconditional love. There are a lot of people out there who understand and respond to love, in fact most of us do. Isn’t it so wonderful to relate to someone on this basis. To find the lovely aspects and to focus on these. There is so much to each one of us. We all have so much to contribute. So much love to give. It’s true, you can take the most grouchy person and begin to love them and see only the beauty in them and either they will turn and show you that side or they will move far away from you.
I saw a video on uTube a few days ago, of Amma, she was just hugging people. I don’t want to hug people all the time, but such love! We all have this within us. Some of us, at certain times, may not be able to get to it, but it is still there.
So, to all who visit this blog, whether you comment or not, it is my great desire that you feel welcome, loved and valued here. And that you know that I know how beautiful you are.
xoxo Anne
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Getting Clearer
June 24th, 2009
Yesterday I wrote about a new value of myself. Today I am having another new awareness. I want to write a book. I know I’ve already written a book. But now I want a book I write to be read and talked about by influential people so that many will read it. What has changed? I know why I want to write it. Before when I would think about writing and being published and well known I would have this voice saying some variation of , “you want to be famous so others will think you are valuable and you know you must think yourself valuable first.” This may seem like a harmless thought, even a true one, but it stopped me in my tracks.
As I turn the corner on a new value for myself I can see that there is much more here than I previously understood. I love, love, love to interact with others on my blog and on theirs. I love writing and others commenting and me commenting back. I love reading what others write and leaving a comment and then them commenting on what I say. I love this interaction. I really do. All the way through me.
So now I can understand a clear motive for writing a book, because I love to write and I want to interact with others. I want them to send me emails and tell me what they are thinking and I want to respond. I want to meet with my readers and commune around the ideas. It’s not about receiving value it’s about reveling in and enjoying the love.
How good it feels to allow my desire to fully come forth without any judgment, and with a pure understanding of what I want. And now……I can allow this fully allowed desire to come forth. I don’t know any details yet, and I don’t even care. I know that loving and allowing and valuing and cherishing my desire will bring it to being. I know this. I’ve experienced it too many times.
I only had this realization just a little while ago and I went into Ken’s office to tell him. (Ken is my husband and he works from home.) While I was telling him, he looked over at his computer and the clock said 11:11. I always love this number, it means alignment to me, (I got the idea from Esther Hicks). But then his eyes got big and he looked closer and right above that number was 111111, the total number of emails in his inbox. I do feel so in alignment with this awareness. I so appreciate the universe conspiring to bring my attention to this, it makes me feel so loved.
My new value is about how much I love writing and about how much I love interacting with all of you. And that I can and will take it further. Wow. Pretty good I think. xoxo Anne
Filed under: Anne's Favorites, Better Feeling Thought, Decisions, The Path of Love, Waking Up, what do I want | 6 Comments »
Stillness
June 11th, 2009
Within the last month or so I’ve come to a new experience in myself. There is a pervading stillness, not something I work to hold on to or meditate to bring about. Just a stillness that is there anytime I notice it. I still talk to others and watch movies, and give my attention to cleaning house or working on one of my projects. But while I am occupied and when I am done, there it is, a stillness and quietness.
I do know how I got here. I spent almost two years in personal inquiry, kind of like what Byron Katie does, kind of like the work of the Western Mystery Schools. But for sure my own private personal work of asking the hard questions and listening for the answers. Some days during the past two years I have spent 4 or more hours a day on this work. Every day, and I mean every day, at least 2 hours. Early morning, quiet hours with my journal and my tarot cards and my green tea. Writing and feeling and asking and being met by mySelf who knows. I journal this in my book and my blog. Then as abruptly as I started I knew I was finished with that work, that I had used my mind to understand and realized and know and that coupled with my desire and determination had brought me to completion. I went through my parents each of them and my children each of them and I found the projections and the forgotten decisions and I rewired myself with new ideas about my world and myself. And I cried and laughed and brought myself to anger and let go of everything you can imagine. It was my own path, a beautiful path and all the while I knew I would come to what I wanted.
And I have…… I have come to see the joy and love and beauty in everything, everything, and I have come to really love myself and I’ve become faithful to myself. And I’ve come to feel the most wonderful love flowing from me to others. But the most astonishing and wonderful and beautiful thing is this peace and stillness.
When I came to the end of my personal work, I knew it was time to let go of what I called “figuring things out”. So when I would find myself figuring I would stop and wait for the answer. This waiting for the answer is something I have done here and there over the last 30 years. But now it became something I applied to everything. Then came a knowing that i was never really doing anything, that it was always I who was at the helm of my life. So I gave up all worry and concern, and began to let go very deeply about anything that was lingering. And then this most wonderful peace came. The silence and the stillness.
I am still human, of course, and I still have some emotion, but it is nothing like it used to be and it is mostly tears of thankfulness for where I’ve come from to where I am. And I know that every day of my life has been valuable and wonderful. Even if I didn’t know it then, I know it now.
I’ve tried not to write too much about my success so that I wouldn’t engage in anything that isn’t humble and gentle. But this is the post that comes to me and I won’t be afraid to write as I know and trust that I, the One me, writes and lives and is.
Many loving thoughts of you, the greater part of me; from me, a small part of you.
Filed under: Anne's Favorites, How do I proceed, Letting Go, The Path of Love, alchemy | 9 Comments »
Trusting and Allowing Myself
June 4th, 2009
I am coming to know that when I simply allow myself to be, whatever I am at the moment, I free myself to become who I really want to be. And after all this time of wanting and working to be me so much and wanting to grow so much I realize that I can have all that I want without giving up anything I really want, and that I can have it all.
I’ve never given up anything, I’ve really only gained. Because letting go of something was always about letting go of my perception about something and finding another, much more helpful way to see it.
When I allow me, just as I am, whether it be to sit for two or four hours to watch TV or whether it be to eat a bag of candy, I am knowing that when I do that, allow myself what I really want this moment, I am loving myself, I am not fighting with myself, I am not criticizing my self , I am not trying to make myself do something. I am just gently lovingly and allowing myself to be, this is where my freedom starts. And soon, after I let go of all judgment of myself I feel loved and cared for and I don’t want that candy, I just don’t want it right now, and I want to clean house instead of just sitting there watching TV.
And so much more importantly I stop the fight. I just stop. And I let love come back into my life. I open up to trust myself and when I do that I open up to trust Myself. Things start to move and loosen up and I get ideas about things I want, new ways of seeing come to me, Things start to drift by me that I want. I feel loved and honored and respected and cherished and then, I know that I was here all along. Me- one with all that is.
And then something really fantastic happens, I can love others in the way I’ve always wanted to, and I can feel that love flowing through me. And it is such a joyous feeling, to know that I’ve come home to myself. And that I accept and allow myself to be and the life I have been dreaming of actually begins to come to pass right before my eyes.
I am love and I open to it. That little girl that I knew so long ago who just loved openly, has come back to me. And now I know how to love her and embrace her and allow her to be.
And if I hit a snag and all I want to do is eat candy, I’m going to let myself, because I know if allowed to be I will snap right back to remembering my own energy and my own being. I trust myself and I am one.
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Allowing That Which You Really Are
May 21st, 2009
“You are killing more of each other every day over your quarrels over religion than all other things put together, because you cannot even come to an agreement about what you think God says, or wants for you. On one side of the world God wants something different than the other. On one side of the room, in one side of your mind, God wants something different than on the other. The power is within you. You are extensions of this powerful Source Energy. You are literally God expressing in this physical body. And so, as you are standing in a thought, or in a word, or in an action that feels good to you as you are standing there–then you are fully open and allowing all of that Divine Energy to flow through you. And in that moment you are all that you said you would be when you decided to come forth into this body. You are the extension of pure positive energy. You are in your full creative power. You are thriving. You are clear-minded. You are joyful. You are filled with love. You are who you are–you are allowing that which you really are.”
— Abraham
I love Abraham. These words of wisdom seem to cut through any confusion or concepts or misunderstandings. They remind me that I want to offer my words here on my blog, knowing that I am speaking to myself first and foremost. After that, if you or another reader finds clairity or love in them then that is my desire. This is a personal journey we are on and nobody knows what is between you and your voice better than you. I appreciate so much this entire collaboration, Abraham speaking, you and me listening and valuing. Thanks for stopping by and for reading.
Filed under: Anne's Favorites, Better Feeling Thought, Decisions, How do I proceed, I am a human being, Letting Go, The Path of Love, Waking Up, alchemy | 2 Comments »
Unity, Wholeness, and The Absolute!
May 18th, 2009
The Ego and the Self! This is a polarity, a division, a split! We are – all that is. We just are!
All the things we call ego are just the distorted us.
Distorted for lack of attention!
Paying attention to our own voices, listening to, asking questions and understanding. This is becoming aware, this is waking up!
Then making new decisions about what we want to embrace and letting go of what doesn’t serve us any more.
All that is, is you, me, us. All of it. Is there anything that you can point to and say——-NOT GOD!
No-All God-All You!
Wake-Up and begin to listen to yourself. Do you think your parents listened to themselves, do you think their parents did?
Listen and stop judging yourself.
Every time you call anything “Ego” you are splitting yourself away and it is a judgment.
Stop judging and listen! Listen! Listen! And then unconditionally love what you hear!
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