Riding Into The Unknown
July 7th, 2009
This post goes with the previous poem about death. It is a clarification, if you will, about what I was asking for.
Riding into the unknown, death really is unknown, and it can be scary, what would make a normally sane person call out to the unknown, in the form of death, in a way that brings it to her? Desire, the pure desire for the One. Having been in the delightful energy of being loved by the One, I want more, all other desires pale in comparison. I’ve tasted the pure, fresh breath of knowing and being known. I want it only. There is a giving up, always, in order to have something more. It is only my ideas that get in the way.
More and more we can go, deeper and deeper into who we are, dropping, little by little, all false ideas, needs, and beliefs. Giving up completely. Letting it all go, again, for what? What keeps you moving forward? Have you really found something that has changed your life? Don’t you want more of it? But what if I have to let go of something I want to keep, you say? I have never let go of anything I wanted to keep, the One has a way of creating everything in my favor, so that by the time I am giving something up, I am ready and I understand enough of what is going on that I am no longer afraid, and I want to give it up , because I can see how I am held back by it. 
I have come to trust the One enough to be willing to allow myself to be freed of all unnecessary weight. Just like letting go of the body when we leave this earth realm. It is enough to listen to myself today; and then tomorrow, again listen to myself; and on and on. Finding the lost ecstasy of union more and more with each opening. Being filled with an overflow of indescribable sweetness.
Teach yourself not to be afraid of death. We are eternal beings, nothing can change that, and nothing can ever harm us, nothing.
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Death, My Friend
July 2nd, 2009
Dying to all but One.
Dying to all personalities.
Dying to all desire.
One alone is left.
Illusions gone.
Hurry death, come quickly, return me to my home.
I sing for you, I dance for you, I joy in the knowing
that each last breath I take,
brings a new first breath.
Let me desire only the One.
Let me be consumed by the fire of that desire.
And let me hold back not one thing,
for I know in the release of death,
I have the All.
Come, o death, you are surely welcome here.
The post after this contains clarification concerning this post and death, Riding Into The Unknown.
Filed under: Letting Go | 12 Comments »
Just A Little Joke
June 26th, 2009
A man was walking along a mountain ledge when the earth under him gave way. As he fell he grabbed onto a root that was sticking out of the mountain side. He began to yell for help, “Help, help help!” he waited….”Help, help, help!”
Finally there was a voice, “hello”.
The man was so relieved that someone answered. “Yes, please help me, I’ve fallen off the edge!”
Suddenly there was a reply from above, “Let Go!”
The poor man, hanging from the root thought about it for a minute and said, “Who are you?”
“God” said the voice.
“Oh God, please help me get out of this mess, please!”
There was a long pause and then the voice said “Let Go.”
The man thought about it for a minute, his arm was really beginning to hurt now, so he said, “Is anybody else up there?”
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Stillness
June 11th, 2009
Within the last month or so I’ve come to a new experience in myself. There is a pervading stillness, not something I work to hold on to or meditate to bring about. Just a stillness that is there anytime I notice it. I still talk to others and watch movies, and give my attention to cleaning house or working on one of my projects. But while I am occupied and when I am done, there it is, a stillness and quietness.
I do know how I got here. I spent almost two years in personal inquiry, kind of like what Byron Katie does, kind of like the work of the Western Mystery Schools. But for sure my own private personal work of asking the hard questions and listening for the answers. Some days during the past two years I have spent 4 or more hours a day on this work. Every day, and I mean every day, at least 2 hours. Early morning, quiet hours with my journal and my tarot cards and my green tea. Writing and feeling and asking and being met by mySelf who knows. I journal this in my book and my blog. Then as abruptly as I started I knew I was finished with that work, that I had used my mind to understand and realized and know and that coupled with my desire and determination had brought me to completion. I went through my parents each of them and my children each of them and I found the projections and the forgotten decisions and I rewired myself with new ideas about my world and myself. And I cried and laughed and brought myself to anger and let go of everything you can imagine. It was my own path, a beautiful path and all the while I knew I would come to what I wanted.
And I have…… I have come to see the joy and love and beauty in everything, everything, and I have come to really love myself and I’ve become faithful to myself. And I’ve come to feel the most wonderful love flowing from me to others. But the most astonishing and wonderful and beautiful thing is this peace and stillness.
When I came to the end of my personal work, I knew it was time to let go of what I called “figuring things out”. So when I would find myself figuring I would stop and wait for the answer. This waiting for the answer is something I have done here and there over the last 30 years. But now it became something I applied to everything. Then came a knowing that i was never really doing anything, that it was always I who was at the helm of my life. So I gave up all worry and concern, and began to let go very deeply about anything that was lingering. And then this most wonderful peace came. The silence and the stillness.
I am still human, of course, and I still have some emotion, but it is nothing like it used to be and it is mostly tears of thankfulness for where I’ve come from to where I am. And I know that every day of my life has been valuable and wonderful. Even if I didn’t know it then, I know it now.
I’ve tried not to write too much about my success so that I wouldn’t engage in anything that isn’t humble and gentle. But this is the post that comes to me and I won’t be afraid to write as I know and trust that I, the One me, writes and lives and is.
Many loving thoughts of you, the greater part of me; from me, a small part of you.
Filed under: Anne's Favorites, How do I proceed, Letting Go, The Path of Love, alchemy | 9 Comments »
Glass Half Full
June 9th, 2009
Have you ever noticed how much we talk about problems, or about what we don’t want or about helping others (which implies they need help), or how to get more money (which implies we don’t have enough), or this or that or whatever?!
Two days ago something happened to me, I don’t know what to call it, but I know what’s different. Suddenly and without warning, I am noticing what a good day people are having. Everybody I meet has plenty to be thankful for in my eye. The server, has a job. The lady at the bank knows well what she is doing and has a comfortable job. The man at the restaurant is enjoying his food. My children are having the life of their choosing and are right on track. All that I want comes easily to me. I just know this now. No more struggle, no more judgment. Just lovely people having their day. And all really is well. There is so much to enjoy and be thankful for, so much. I can see this now. And suddenly the cup is half full. And the issues people are working with aren’t problems but opportunities to move toward that which they want. It is a kind of opening. Without fear, opening.
This has come right on the heels of another beautiful awareness I have been having. And that is one of surrendering and trusting everything, one by one, to my Greater All Knowing Self. Me, trusting me. Really trusting, no more control. No more figuring anything out. But just waiting for answers to come. And clarity to come. And it comes, easily and freely.
The surrendering has come just after ending my own personal work. Well, I guess we never really end our process of maturity, but a long chapter has closed, after almost two years of intense personal searching and questioning. I talk a lot about this in my blog posts. In fact, that is the reason I am writing this here. This blog and my book document the path I’ve taken toward awakening. Not that it has any great importance, only that I want to keep the remembrance.
Life is new, it’s not what I thought it would be. It is fresh and free and really peaceful.
I know a post like this may or may not feel so good to you. And that’s ok. But, if it’s what you want, I can show you how to get here. Either by reading and applying the ideas in my free book and blog posts or by contacting me. I won’t waste your time. I’ll work with you freely in love and freshness. Or not. I am allowing my teaching to unfold in the timing and ways of my greater nonphysical Self. And I know what I need to know, as I need to know it. And I……. am really enjoying the peace and love and joy.
I can’t imagine what might come along to knock me away from my connection. But if it does, I am trusting myself to stay aware and come back to myself.
Thanks to everybody who follows along here with me. I love and appreciate you.
Filed under: Anne's Favorites, Better Feeling Thought, Decisions, How do I proceed, Letting Go, Waking Up, What is Enlightenment, alchemy | 11 Comments »
Trusting and Allowing Myself
June 4th, 2009
I am coming to know that when I simply allow myself to be, whatever I am at the moment, I free myself to become who I really want to be. And after all this time of wanting and working to be me so much and wanting to grow so much I realize that I can have all that I want without giving up anything I really want, and that I can have it all.
I’ve never given up anything, I’ve really only gained. Because letting go of something was always about letting go of my perception about something and finding another, much more helpful way to see it.
When I allow me, just as I am, whether it be to sit for two or four hours to watch TV or whether it be to eat a bag of candy, I am knowing that when I do that, allow myself what I really want this moment, I am loving myself, I am not fighting with myself, I am not criticizing my self , I am not trying to make myself do something. I am just gently lovingly and allowing myself to be, this is where my freedom starts. And soon, after I let go of all judgment of myself I feel loved and cared for and I don’t want that candy, I just don’t want it right now, and I want to clean house instead of just sitting there watching TV.
And so much more importantly I stop the fight. I just stop. And I let love come back into my life. I open up to trust myself and when I do that I open up to trust Myself. Things start to move and loosen up and I get ideas about things I want, new ways of seeing come to me, Things start to drift by me that I want. I feel loved and honored and respected and cherished and then, I know that I was here all along. Me- one with all that is.
And then something really fantastic happens, I can love others in the way I’ve always wanted to, and I can feel that love flowing through me. And it is such a joyous feeling, to know that I’ve come home to myself. And that I accept and allow myself to be and the life I have been dreaming of actually begins to come to pass right before my eyes.
I am love and I open to it. That little girl that I knew so long ago who just loved openly, has come back to me. And now I know how to love her and embrace her and allow her to be.
And if I hit a snag and all I want to do is eat candy, I’m going to let myself, because I know if allowed to be I will snap right back to remembering my own energy and my own being. I trust myself and I am one.
Filed under: Anne's Favorites, Decisions, How do I proceed, Letting Go, The Path of Love, Waking Up, alchemy | No Comments »
Death
May 28th, 2009
Death is a withdrawal of consciousness. It’s like taking attention from here and putting it there.
— Abraham
I’ve been working with death the last couple of days. Well really the last couple of years. But specifically, the last couple of days. I’ve been taking off another layer of this world. Just when I think I’ve completely detached from what others feel and think, there it is, me caring.
I have opened a little shop where I sell sunglasses close to the beach. I’ve taken in hand made goods from a few artists. This is something I have dreamed about doing for a long time. I can see the manifestation of my dreams here. And of course, with new growth there are new opportunities. So I have these lovely ladies and their goods all working with me. And it comes up slowly, and grabs me right out of my bliss. I want them to succeed. That is OK, but I also fear their rejection if they don’t. And that somehow it will be my fault. This hits me like a brick.
And so it began, I first had to sort and find what I was worried about. Then I could feel the energy growing in my abdomen, you can call it anger, that’s the closest word I have to describe it. But I couldn’t allow my energy up because it seemed so not right to completely not care what they thought or felt. Then my son came by wanting me to change some behavior. I could see the pain in him. I’ve worked on letting go of what he feels and thinks many times, but right now it got to me.
I started remembering everything I know about letting go and feeling better. And slowly the sales job began to work. Finally I started to allow and feel the energy in my abdomen. The anger. I carried it for several hours. And then as easily as a spring morning I began to feel better. I started to feel my own precious energy, that gentleness that is me. (and all of us) The whole thing took about a day and a half.
The old had died. Not so easily, but it had given way to the life of the spirit. I had let go of my involvement in the thoughts and feelings of anyone except my self.
And with each death comes new life….Now I know that there is no worry or care or concern that I can endure about my suppliers or my son that can make them successful. That is in their hands. I trusted the flow of grace to bring them to me and it has, and I am trusting the flow to bring me customers and that my business will be successful and that includes them. I am also trusting that all of us will receive only love from this flow of grace. But knowing that what others do with that love is totally up to them and none of my business.
About my business, I trust and allow that all that I want comes easily to me, gently and lovingly, in the perfect time and way. And also I know that there is a part of me that knows more about what I want and how to create it than I do consciously in the moment. And that is alright because I know that I am loved beyond my comprehension here. I know because I trust myself and love myself and listen to myself.
I offer these words trusting that they can be of benefit to the greater me….. you…. in gaining clairity, peace and love.
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Allowing That Which You Really Are
May 21st, 2009
“You are killing more of each other every day over your quarrels over religion than all other things put together, because you cannot even come to an agreement about what you think God says, or wants for you. On one side of the world God wants something different than the other. On one side of the room, in one side of your mind, God wants something different than on the other. The power is within you. You are extensions of this powerful Source Energy. You are literally God expressing in this physical body. And so, as you are standing in a thought, or in a word, or in an action that feels good to you as you are standing there–then you are fully open and allowing all of that Divine Energy to flow through you. And in that moment you are all that you said you would be when you decided to come forth into this body. You are the extension of pure positive energy. You are in your full creative power. You are thriving. You are clear-minded. You are joyful. You are filled with love. You are who you are–you are allowing that which you really are.”
— Abraham
I love Abraham. These words of wisdom seem to cut through any confusion or concepts or misunderstandings. They remind me that I want to offer my words here on my blog, knowing that I am speaking to myself first and foremost. After that, if you or another reader finds clairity or love in them then that is my desire. This is a personal journey we are on and nobody knows what is between you and your voice better than you. I appreciate so much this entire collaboration, Abraham speaking, you and me listening and valuing. Thanks for stopping by and for reading.
Filed under: Anne's Favorites, Better Feeling Thought, Decisions, How do I proceed, I am a human being, Letting Go, The Path of Love, Waking Up, alchemy | 2 Comments »
Listening for Our True Voice
May 15th, 2009
Before you read the words here, I want to acknowledge their clumsiness, I speak them from love and with trust.
It seems that fear captures any ideas it can to keep us under control. Using teachings from any spiritual tradition or way to disallow union.
Instead of listening to themselves and understanding I notice many choose to meditate away or stop thinking.
There is a place to give up thinking and for meditation but not to shut down the voice of the inner child that hasn’t ever been heard. I feel it’s imperative to listen to and hear that child and value what is heard and offer comfort and come to understanding. And then to redecide.
The more we listen and value the more we free the voice of ourselves. And the more that voice comes forward and the more we become ourselves.
Spiritual development doesn’t mean getting better and better at quelling the inner voice and emotion so that we don’t feel the stress of our separation. It means listening and allowing ourselves and redeciding and trusting so that we don’t need systems and ways to handle the stress.
The old stresses disappear and new open free life comes forward. And we are no longer usings skills to cope.
Our true self is free to move forward with life enjoying new views and realizing every desire, and openly trusting life.
I don’t speak from anything I read or was taught, I speak from my own experience of finding and listening to my own child’s voice and learning to value that precious voice. And becoming trustworthy (learning not to judge or turn on myself) and being there for myself.
Then, and only then, that person, the real me, little by little has surfaced.
She’s found freedom It’s my job now to stay awake and continure to listen and allow and value.
I offer these words as gently as I know with great love.
Filed under: Anne's Favorites, Decisions, Letting Go, Waking Up, What is Enlightenment, alchemy | 4 Comments »
Dispensing Wisdom
May 11th, 2009
I think I’ve been an unconscious wisdom dispenser for a long time. How do I know? Because I get so upset when I see others doing it. You know what I mean, somebody telling you what you don’t want to hear, haven’t asked to know and usually already know for yourself better than the teller.
I have decided to allow others to figure out their own stuff. After all, each one of us is Source Energy, and each one knows best for themselves.
I’ll answer if someone asks, gently with an eye to my own humility.
Tending to my business on my side of the street. My business, I am becoming aware, is a very lovely and awesome subject.
How do I really know what another needs to hear, and how do I know when the timing is right? I can’t.
My own life is the only communication that can really be heard.
When I do express, as here on my blog, or in my books, I want to own what I say as my own experience or my own understanding. Expressing first for myself, then trusting that my life can be of benefit to the greater me. And if not, that is fine too. Never with the attitude that I know more, or that somebody is messed up or wrong or needy in any way.
And with this ownership, I can finally let go of my grudge against those who I see dispensing wisdom and step out of the picture completely. And I can enjoy peace and freedom in this area.
Thanks for reading.
Filed under: Anne's Favorites, Better Feeling Thought, Decisions, How do I proceed, I am a human being, Letting Go, The Path of Love | 13 Comments »