A New Vantage Point
July 16th, 2009
As I awake from my slumber I find myself at a new awareness about money. It would have been the job of my father to teach me about many things. Trusting myself and listening to my voice within and valuing that voice would have been helpful. So, as I now awaken to my own awareness of the value of this I am also keenly aware of many times in my life when I knew better, but didn’t have the courage, or knowing or whatever to stand up for what I thought. This is nowhere more keenly felt that in the area of money. I have listened to others so I could be loved and accepted and perceived as loving, etc. all my life. Now I can easily see where I knew what would have been the best and I let somebody else decide for us and I followed like I had no head.
As you can probably tell from the tone of this post I am angry with myself about this. My sun is in Taurus and my rising sign is Capricorn. These are both signs that are good with money. I always knew how to handle money, I knew, I remember knowing, but I didn’t have the self assertion needed to speak up and be heard. It is so silly too, I let somebody, a lot of somebodies make the decisions about the money.
Well, not any more. Don’t misunderstand, I don’t really care about having a lot of things. But I do see now that life doesn’t have to be lived on the edge. There is an easy spot. I can see now that it isn’t that hard to find. I can also see that enough money has always easily flowed into my life. I just didn’t speak up about what we did with it.
I am not mad at those who took responsibility for our money. I am not even mad at my Dad who stripped me of my courage and my own right to make my life the way I want it. Well maybe I am a little mad at my Dad. But I am really mad at me. I am not afraid of anger. I know that it always is part of my growth and part of my new understanding. I see anger as the feeling of my own energy coming forth.
It is a new day for me and my family. Now I will teach my children what I didn’t teach them before, even if it is just by example at first. And I will gently and easily guide our money to a place of peace. I love this waking up stuff. I never know where it will lead me next, but it is always practical and helpful to my life right now.
I appreciate all of you who tune in here for my latest updates along my path.
Filed under: Anger, Decisions, In Our World, The Path of Love, Waking Up | 3 Comments »
Anger
January 28th, 2009
There is something so refreshing about finding anger when I’m feeling lost or frightened. I’ve used it over and over (since I first heard Abraham talk about it) to get to a new view of things. It also brings up honesty about what I want. I highly recommend it to my students who are feeling afraid, or if they have that sick feeling in their stomach, or if they feel numb.
It really isn’t that hard to get to usually. Sometimes I wake up feeling sick about something and I get up and walk back and forth and talk to myself until I am feeling angry. Statements like, I’m sick of worrying about this, or This is ridiculous, or It isn’t fair that I have to worry about something I can’t do anything about. With this I can usually get some anger going and it always feels better.
I think when I use anger in this way I allow my own power to come forward. If you choose to try it let me know what you think.
Filed under: Anger | No Comments »