A New Vantage Point
July 16th, 2009
As I awake from my slumber I find myself at a new awareness about money. It would have been the job of my father to teach me about many things. Trusting myself and listening to my voice within and valuing that voice would have been helpful. So, as I now awaken to my own awareness of the value of this I am also keenly aware of many times in my life when I knew better, but didn’t have the courage, or knowing or whatever to stand up for what I thought. This is nowhere more keenly felt that in the area of money. I have listened to others so I could be loved and accepted and perceived as loving, etc. all my life. Now I can easily see where I knew what would have been the best and I let somebody else decide for us and I followed like I had no head.
As you can probably tell from the tone of this post I am angry with myself about this. My sun is in Taurus and my rising sign is Capricorn. These are both signs that are good with money. I always knew how to handle money, I knew, I remember knowing, but I didn’t have the self assertion needed to speak up and be heard. It is so silly too, I let somebody, a lot of somebodies make the decisions about the money.
Well, not any more. Don’t misunderstand, I don’t really care about having a lot of things. But I do see now that life doesn’t have to be lived on the edge. There is an easy spot. I can see now that it isn’t that hard to find. I can also see that enough money has always easily flowed into my life. I just didn’t speak up about what we did with it.
I am not mad at those who took responsibility for our money. I am not even mad at my Dad who stripped me of my courage and my own right to make my life the way I want it. Well maybe I am a little mad at my Dad. But I am really mad at me. I am not afraid of anger. I know that it always is part of my growth and part of my new understanding. I see anger as the feeling of my own energy coming forth.
It is a new day for me and my family. Now I will teach my children what I didn’t teach them before, even if it is just by example at first. And I will gently and easily guide our money to a place of peace. I love this waking up stuff. I never know where it will lead me next, but it is always practical and helpful to my life right now.
I appreciate all of you who tune in here for my latest updates along my path.
Filed under: Anger, Decisions, In Our World, The Path of Love, Waking Up
July 16th, 2009 at 5:17 pm
Hi Anne,
I am just sending you love. No need to be angry with yourself. We all have our time to come into our destiny. Let love shine in your life.
Alexys Fairfield´s last blog ..Addressing The Butterfly
July 17th, 2009 at 10:35 am
Hi Anne-
I am sending you love, as well. Anger, although healthy at times and necessary at times to move through an obstacle – it can also turn on you – so use it as you must to do what you must and then get rid of it.
love to you
Gail
peace…..
July 17th, 2009 at 11:56 am
Hello Alexys and Gail, You are both correct that anger is lower on the scale than love. But, it is not lower than powerlessness. And powerlessness is where I have resided on the subject of money all my life. So to move to anger is a step toward the feeling of love. And I am already moving away from anger to a new place of self awareness I haven’t experienced before.
Also, as I move along my path toward enlightenment or awakening I understand the need to let go of any kind of control and just allow life to come to me. This includes my emotions. All is love and all is valuable, once we let go of our ideal positions.
Thank you both very much for the visit and the comments.